I am going to die tomorrow.

I would have liked to live, but you did not protect me. You didn’t protect my mom either. She’ll probably be fine, but I wish her safety was more important to you than the convenience of my death. I wish our lives mattered more to you than upholding precedent. Things may seem complicated to you, but to me they’re very simple. Tomorrow I will die, and wish I could live instead.

I would have liked to take my first steps. To color my first picture. I wish I could have been there for my first day of school. My classmates will never know I even existed. I know there would have been tears, but there would have been laughter too. I would have liked to cry and feel the wetness on my cheeks.

I know things are hard for mom. She’s all by herself and doesn’t have a lot. She doesn’t think she can give me a good life. But I wish I could just have a chance. I’d try not to be too much of a burden. Maybe I could even help when I’m a little older. And when I was grown I would have taken care of mom. Heaven knows her boyfriends never do. I wish I could be there for her. Nobody cares about mom, but I do. I’ll love my mom until my dying day. I just wish that didn’t have to be tomorrow.

Tomorrow I’ll be with God. The world has thrown me away before I even saw it with my eyes, but God will take me in. And I’ll be there watching when you come to join us, and I’ll hear with my own ears what answer you give to The Judge to explain the decision you made today. In that day the judgment of history won’t matter to you anymore, but only the judgment of the One who is righteous and true. In that day I will see the justice that’s been denied to me today.

Tomorrow I’ll be gone, and there’s nothing I can do and no one to protect me. Tomorrow I’ll be a statistic, a number in a book. Not even a name to be remembered by. Just a gap in mom’s belly where a baby used to be. Just a gap in mom’s family where a child should have been.

Tomorrow I’m going to die, and I’m scared. I don’t know what it will feel like to die. I wish somebody could hold my hand when I go. I wish I didn’t have to go at all.

Psalm 142


Image Credit: Joe Ravi, CC BY-SA 3.0,
Catégories : Abortion